Epidemic

I'm not sure when an outbreak turns into a plague or when a plague turns into an epidemic. But, notwithstanding this, I'm willing to call it now that the number of weddings scheduled for 2008 has reached epidemic proportions. I'm almost scared to check my gmail and facebook messages these days for fear that another one of my friends has decided to get hitched later this year.

Of course, I'm always delighted when my friends manage to bag themselves a keeper in the romantic stakes. But my big problem is that with so many weddings scheduled for this year, I can't attend them all. It's mostly my own fault, of course, spending this marriage-friendly year in the wrong hemisphere, but it's still frustrating having to write emails apologising for being a bad friend and not being able to attend that special engagement party, wedding ceremony or reception. I tell you, it sucks. I'm down to make one wedding-related trip back to Oz later this year in September. And I'm ducking over to Italy for another wedding in June. But further intercontinental coupling-related travel is unfortunately beyond my means.

Luckily, I can confirm that I won't be getting married this year. So I'm not going to have to test any friendships by asking people to make like geese and travel north for the summer. Not that you're not welcome to visit of course - please do come, you're always welcome. Except you. You know who you are. Just kidding. You can come too if you like.

To finish off this rant, I would just like to say CONGRATULATIONS to my excellent mates Tom and Jenny who have just welcomed their first child into the world - Lara Clare (nice name, huh?). Top work Mr and Mrs Small. Can't wait to admire your handiwork in person later in the year. To all you other couples out there - don't feel pressured, there's no rush, you've only just gotten engaged - children can wait for a little while yet.

A new painting for 2008

Here's my first art work of 2008. Well, technically, apart from a few white dots, it was mostly painted over Christmas 2007, but since it's mostly white dots anyway, I think the work done in 2008 was significant enough to call this a 2008 painting. So what do you think? Honestly, when it was 3/4 done, I was pretty disappointed with it. But with the fourth row of dots, I think something happened and now I quite like it.

Anyway, this is the way it was painted.

But some people think it looks better this way.

Which do you prefer?

New years resolutions

Blogging more is one of my new years resolutions and, as with most people, you can expect me to start off full of enthusiasm and then basically go missing from the first week of February. Anyway, there will hopefully be a few January-postings on this site before things start to go terribly wrong.

I was lucky enough to spend NYE 2007 in Paris. Last year I was in Harare, so I've started a good run of special locations for seeing in the New Year. I'm definitely going to have to plan something equally cool for NYE 2008, but since my name isn't Joyce, I won't start planning it just yet ... Anyway, back to Paris, it was my first visit to the French capital (I'm still a stranger to most of Europe, somewhat embarrassingly) but it certainly won't be my last. I was very, very impressed. The town is just beautiful - everywhere you look you see breathtaking architecture. And it's all so close together! Walk for half an hour in any direction and you will pass stunning churches, amazing restaurants offering fresh oysters and flowing champagne, incredible galleries full of renaissance and impressionist masterpieces and a seemingly never-ending selection of shops selling high-end, French and surprisingly hideous fashion.

In the four days I was there, I ate a lot. And I walked a lot too, partly to balance out the pastry eating and partly because there was so much I wanted to see. And I drank a lot, because I was thirsty after all that walking and, hey, it was New Years after all. The only downside was the queuing to get into the Notre Dame and the Louvre and the restaurants and, well, pretty much everywhere else. It's always my least favourite part about going to any popular destination, but it's a good way to learn tolerance for your fellow human beings. Not that my tolerance levels are that impressive, but I'm working on it. And everyone needs more than one New Years resolution to break. So, if the world is listening, January is the time to test my patience because from the first week of February, I'm sure that my fuse is going to be getting extremely short again.

My last resolution is to be better at remembering things and, in particular, peoples names so I don't have to keep on being reintroduced. Usually it takes me about 6 meetings to get someone's name down. Before you think that I'm rude and arrogant, it doesn't mean I've forgotten them - I can usually remember most things about them like what they do for work, who they're friends with, what we talked about last time we met, but I just can't remember names. So I'm going to try and improve that. And in the meantime, I'm going to stick with my tactic of calling everyone mate.

Getting back in the game

So. It's obviously been a long time since my last post. There have been many times when I've thought about writing something new on here, but somehow I just never managed to get around to it. But I'm aiming to remedy that and get back into the blogging game very soon. In my defence, it's been a somewhat busy last month or two. Just looking back on it, I've managed to fit in a week long trip to Australia (I know, I know it's a long way to go for a week, but there were good reasons for it), had an early Christmas weekend away in an amazing English country house with 15 great friends (thanks for organising Joyce - my mind boggles at your logistical skills), suffered through a couple of months of intensity at work (including a series of 12-hour plus meetings that took up a whole fortnight) that ended in the biggest deal closing I've seen in my career so far (sadly, given the event consisted of a bunch of guys signing their names on a stack of paper, I found the whole thing quite exciting) and now have almost come to the end of my first Christmas Day in London. So with my belly full of lamb shanks, bread and butter pudding and a substantial part of one of Joyce's cheese platters, I am pretty satisfied with life. This weekend I'm heading off to Paris for a few days, including NYE. I promise I'll write more about that trip away when I get back. Until then, remember to stay beautiful.

Under the milky way

Last weekend I was in Marrakech with a troop of others to celebrate Caroine's birthday. It's very fashionable right now to celebrate your birthday by taking a trip away with friends, and the more exotic the location the more fashionable you are. Marrakech is, naturally, very exotic and very fashionable, as the following facts prove:

• Richard Branson is building a hotel there;
• Gladiator was shot in the desert near Marrakech (I've seen the film set); and
• Brad and Angelina stayed nearby while shooting the movie Babel (I've visited the hotel where they stayed (they rented out the entire place while they were there, but this is less impressive when you find out that it's only got 8 guest rooms)).

But even if it were not so fashionable, the bustle and turmoil of Marrakech and the frenzied locals makes a fantastic contrast to dreary greyness of London and the bland urbanity of Londonites. Although we were only there for 4 days, we managed to pack a lot in. In order to save time (and, being realistic, so that the readers of this blog don't tune out half-way through this posting), I'll just list some highlights:

• an amazing dinner on the first night in a courtyard of an old riad hidden down a maze of narrow streets, far away from the usual tourist thoroughfare. The setting was beautiful - all candle light and intricately mosaiced walls - and the food was terrific (the honey glazed chicken hot was a particular favourite);
• the madnes of Jamaa el Fna (the main market in Marrakech), whcih totally lived up to the pre-trip hype. You can hardly turn around in the market square without stumbling across cobras, street kids trying to force-feed you macaroons (though our group didn't require much forcing) and grinning men with massive moustaches offering you chipolatas straight from the BBQ or boiled snails straight from the pot. A little word of advice, it's fun to look at the stall-owners cooking the food, but when you actually order it, it generally doesn't taste nice and there's a high probability that you'll get food poisoning. Luckily, we were seasoned enough travellers to know that chicken that's cooked properly isn't pink;
• the apparently barren Atlas mountains that we drove through with our guide Hassan, where every corner brings a new amazing view. The mountains look fairly inhospitable and you'd think it's practically impossible to grow anything there, but somehow the Berbers who live in the mountains manage to get by. In fact, they seem to be thriving as there was always people hanging around by the side of the road even in the most remote of the mountain passes that we drove through. I have no idea what they were doing there, but I respect the fact that they were doing it;
• the local Berber pharmacy that Hassan kindly showed us for nothing other than some substantial kick-backs from the owners (he was generous like that). The pharmacy was full of exotic spices, scented oils, potions, lotions, perfumes and other exotic things. The shop assistant spent a long (and fairly lucrative) time while talking us through the various products that he had to offer and we all walked away smelling quite a bit better than when we walked in. Afterwards, while the others were busy pulling out their wallets though, the shop assistant came up to me and in a conspirational whisper mentioned that he could give me some traditional Berber viagra if that's what I was after. Now, I appreciate the manner in which the guy addressed a sensitive issue, but why did he assume that I was the one in need of help and not my travelling companions? Very worrying;
• camel riding through the desert at dusk. OK, I'm not sure that the camels qualify as a highlight, because all of my previous experiences of camels were confirmed on this trip (they are ugly, have extremely bad dental hygiene and are supremely uncomfortable). But the camels did manage to get us to a desert camp where we spent the night around a bonfire, playing drums and staring up at the most amazing display of stars that I have ever seen (I've never seen the Milky Way as clearly as I did from the Moroccan desert). Our accommodation was a tent made out of Moroccan carpets and we slept wrapped in camel hair blankets. In a word: awesome.

And that's another Miami Dolphins FIRST DOWN!

So it's Halloween tonight (or at least it was when I started writing this post) and the streets are full of kids dressed up as devils and witches and skeletons and (rather disturbingly) Britney Spears. Luckily I live in an apartment so I should be relatively safe from trick or treating. And even if they do come knocking, I'm on the 4th floor, so it's going to take some enterprising kids to play any serious tricks on me. Of course, I'm sure they'd find a way if I took my Dad's traditional approach of opening the front door to trick and treaters and then spending the next 15 minutes giving them a lecture on how Halloween isn't an Australian tradition and they should spend their time learning a bit more about Australia's colonial era instead of scouting for sweets. Or, alternatively, I could just try and offer them something nice to eat. Unfortunately, all I've got to offer at the moment is a tub of hummous and some carrots. I quite like it, but I'm not sure the sugar content in the hummous is high enough to satisfy the kids. So, to sum up, I may just need to take my chances.

While I'm waiting for the rotten eggs to start raining down on my roof, I may as well write a little bit about last Sunday, when the NFL came to town. It was the first time that any NFL regular season game had been played outside the US and they did it in style, playing in front of 85,000 plus one (me) fans at Wembley. About 50 players from the Miami Dolphins and NY Giants made the trip over for the match and they were accompanied by a team of around 100 Dolphins cheerleaders (supposedly the finest cheerers in the league, but then I bet they say that to all the girls).

Now the weather on Sunday wasn't great - hey, this is London after all - but that wasn't going to put my little crew off following NFL tradition and doing a little bit of tailgating. Tailgating basically involves breaking out a BBQ behind your pick-up truck and sinking a few beers before the game. Well, we didn't have a pick-up but we did have a little disposable BBQ, a packet of Sainsbury's finest wild boar bangers and a couple of 6 packs of Carlsberg, which went down a treat (both with us and a couple of friendly coppers who were a little hungry and a little too cheap to buy their own sausages). We had kind of expected there to a be a crowd of tailgaters, given that that there were several thousand Americans flying over especially for the match. But I suppose they all left their BBQs at home, because we were alone out the front of Wembley. Anyway, having wolfed down a couple of lonely sausages and more than a few lagers, we finally made it into the stadium as the players charged onto the field, fireworks exploded, cheerleaders bounced and Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" blared through the stadium speakers. Americans really know how to do entertainment.

The match itself was entertaining, but I don't think it was the best football ever played. The weather was partly to blame, as the players were having a hard time getting a grip on the wet ball, which meant that both teams preferred a running game over a passing game. So, really, the game soon degenerated into something closely resembling the recent rugby World Cup final, with two teams grinding it out for field position and then knocking over penalty kicks. Still, we were a few more beers down by that stage and were happy enough watching the cheerleaders do their thing. Also, I was becoming excellent at screaming out FIRST DOWN every time the Dolphins made their 10 yards. In fact, it was a bit of a shame that the crowd wasn't a bit louder - I was half hoping that the Giants fans would start singing "are you Tottenham in disguise" to the Dolphins players, but they don't seem to have the same sense of humour as the Gunners fans. Maybe next time. Anyway, the final result was 13-10 to the Giants. But on the day, we were all winners.

Jealous?

Many bloggers write interminable postings about exciting nights out, brushes with celebrity and travel to exotic locations. I think a deep seated need to make other people jealous must form a significant part of the psyche of these people. But I for one am above such pettiness, as I shall demonstrate by telling you about the least eventful weekend of my life.

It started on Thursday evening when I managed to concoct one of the least appetising meals of history out of a seemingly innocuous combination of ricotta, spinach, pasta and (for some reason) plum tomatoes. Usually when I'm hungry I can eat practically anything, but even I had to ditch the slop I served up on Thursday. But unfortunately I had managed to plow through a good portion of it before coming to my senses and I was made to pay early on Friday morning when the sound of my gurgling stomach woke me up and told me it was time to head to Borehamwood (the world's least inspiring office location). 7 hours of keyboard tapping later, my stomach hadn't settled down but it was time to head off for a 10 course duck and crab banquet. I (manfully, in my opinion) battled through most of the duck courses, but I didn't get very far with the crab - partly due to my rebelling stomach and partly because I'm never very good with crab - the shell:meat ratio just doesn't work for me.

I woke up late on Saturday still feeling under the weather and spent most of the day curled in a ball in bed. Somehow I forced myself to wake up long enough in the evening to watch 80 minutes of the dullest rugby ever played. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad the Springboks won, but really you shouldn't be allowed to win a World Cup without at least scoring one try in the final. Fiji would have been worthier winners.

I woke up on Sunday to a beautiful autumn day in London with clear blue skies and bright sunshine. I was feeling much better as well, until I realised that it was almost 11am and I'd just slept for roughly 22 of the last 24 hours. Thinking I could just fight my way through the stomach issues, I then proceeded to make a series of really, really bad decisions by: going swimming, eating a lunch consisting almost entirely of rice pudding (my first meal in 36 hours), playing squash (a truly terrible effort - I could barely move) and downing a pint of Kronenburg 1664. The final move was my worst and my stomach exacted swift retribution. I spent the rest of the day crawling between the bathroom and my bedroom. I went to bed at 9pm.

I woke up this morning feeling just better enough to not be able to justify a sick day. In fact, I had to get up super early and arrive at the office at 7am in order to use the printer because the one in Borehamwood doesn't work. Lucky me. 12 hours after choosing the double-sided, two to a page option, I'm lying here on the couch watching Britain's Official Top 40 (which is reminding me why I don't generally watch TV any more). Feeling jealous yet? Thought so.